Thoroughly enjoyed reading this. Thanks for the smile.

Not only am I British, but I am from Yorkshire. While on holiday in New Mexico close to the Texas border I ended up chatting to an older-than-me gent wearing what I term a 'cowboy hat'. I realised his eyes were glazing and his stance, if not his feet, was backing away. Eventually he 'drawled': "I know you're speaking English at me, but I can't understand a goddamn word you're saying." Priceless.